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Question Category: Building a Better Relationship
Question: Hi Julie – I tend to be a big softy when it comes to dealing with my horse. Now I have created a horse that knows this and takes advantage of me, especially when doing ground work. He pushes me and tries to pull me when I am leading. He does not do this to my husband, so I know he accepts him as the leader, but not me. What are your suggestions?
Answer: Dear Marci,
I can tell you already know what the cause of your problem is: you have indulged your horse and through your lack of leadership he has become increasingly rude and thinks he is the boss of you. This is natural horse behavior in its finest and purest sense. And the solution involves natural horsemanship, and its logical and sensible approach. Natural horsemanship is simply knowing and understanding the horse’s natural behavior and using that information to train him in a language that he understands.
Horses are very communicative animals, communicating largely with non-audible language. The horse uses sign language with every part of his body: head elevation, ear position, nostril and mouth gestures, nose movements, front feet, hind feet, tail position, plus a few distinctive audible calls. It is an intricate language and a very distinctive one; once you can learn to ‘read’ the horse, you can understand his emotions, motivations and behaviors.
Horses are also very physical in their communications within the herd and even the most novice of horse people can watch any herd of three or more horses and see the bossiness, pushing, shoving, kicking and screaming that goes on in the herd. Horses are very demonstrative and make their emotions, directives and intentions known.
Horses are also very happy, serene and obedient in the herd when there is a kind but strict benevolent leader in the herd. That’s your job in your herd of two. They are also instinctively gregarious animals and they yearn to be with a herd mate that makes them feel safe, secure and comfortable; not unlike humans. It is your job as herd leader to make your horse feel safe, secure and comfortable, but you’ll never get there by indulging and babying your horse.
So first we must look at how only two factors are involved: resources and space. The resources of the herd are anything that the herd values, such as food, water, shelter, and companionship. The dominant horse always has first access to the resources; therefore one of the easiest ways to determine the pecking order of a herd is to throw some feed out and look for the sharks.
The second factor in establishing dominance is spatial. Spatial issues are constantly at work within the herd setting. The dominant horse controls the space of the subordinate horse. A subordinate horse would never think of invading the space of its superior; if he did, he would probably lose some hair and possibly some skin over the deal. In Natural Horsemanship, we strive to be a kind and benevolent leader for our horse. This involves setting parameters and ground rules and giving fair and consistent leadership to the horse. Spoiling, pampering and coddling the horse will only lead the horse to disrespect you and search elsewhere for leadership.
If you are interested in improving your leadership to the horse, with the added bonus of teaching your horse good ground manners, to respect you and want to please you, you must learn to set boundaries and enforce good behavior. There are articles on my website about doing this kind of ground work with horses and my DVD on Lead Line Leadership < http://www.juliegoodnight.com/products.htm> explains this process in an easy to understand, step-by-step process, showing three totally different horses move through the process.
The good news is that it is never too late to make a change and with the right approach, your horse will turn around immediately. If you get educated and learn to treat your horse as the herd leader (I know it sounds very cliché, but it is true), you will have the relationship with the horse that you want. Besides, doing ground work is fun and rewarding!
Take the first step and make a change and you will be rewarded by your horse. Good luck!